On Giving

The piece I shared a couple of weeks ago called “On Receiving” - click here to read if you missed it - generated lots of responses. 

Which led me to reflect on the flip side: giving.

Sometimes we give freely, without attachment.

Other times we have ulterior motives – conscious or unconscious. A compliment is given in hopes of receiving one back. A gift is given in an attempt to prove your love or commitment to the relationship, or out of obligation.

We’ve all done this, and you know giving from this place feels different than giving freely. Conditional giving creates “sticky” energy.  

Just as we can practice choosing to be in the flow of life when receiving, we can practice choosing to be in the flow when giving.

Next time you feel the urge to give something, pause for a moment and check in with your motivations.

If you feel ease and flow, give the gift or compliment or the offer of assistance.

If your motivations feel complex and murky, pause and investigate. Can you unwind the stickiness, release the obligation, and find a motivation that brings harmony? If so, make the shift internally and then give.

If you can’t, consider not giving in that moment. Sit with the complexity further and see what it reveals about yourself and the relationship.

And…if you find yourself giving to or receiving from someone who is out of flow, you can still give or receive with grace. As in all interactions, you can respond choicefully, rather than react instinctively. You can choose to be present and in flow even if the other person is not.

When you give, are you in the stream of life or stuck in an eddy?
Kirstin Lindquist