Surrender Part II

Last month I wrote about surrender - and this month I’ll offer a real life example.

Some of you know I’ve been organizing a wedding for the last several months! That involves a great deal of planning and efforting, down to the smallest details such as linen colors and napkin folds.

We’re getting married in the mountains, and it just so happened to be one of the snowiest winters ever. The meadow in which we are to be married was still buried deep in snow a month before our date! A couple of weeks before the big day, I started breaking out in hives, had a hypermobility flare, and also realized I’ll get my monthly flow on my wedding day.

At such moments there really is nothing to do but surrender - we can plan and prepare diligently, but must accept that so many things are out of our control. Whether it’s the weather or our own bodies - we can do our best to take care of ourselves and prepare for eventualities, but it really is about knowing that nature is ultimately in charge.

From this realization comes the need to let go and accept. Byron Katie calls this “Loving What Is.” She says she loves reality, not because she’s a spiritual person, but because it hurts not to. That’s exactly it: wanting everything to be “just so,” tightening against the potential of things not going the way we want - just leads to suffering, no matter how it all turns out in the end.

With surrender, I can inhabit more presence - meaning, I’m available for reality, whatever it may look like. I can be a compassionate presence for myself if things are not going “right” or “well.” I can even love reality. That gives me spaciousness to deal with whatever may come up - including love and support from others.